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Help! Taming Tricky Teenager Tips Please?!

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I am ‘teenager sitting’ my nephew Joel, 13. My goodness you parents have my admiration. I don’t know how you don’t go grey the moment they shoot down the birth canal. I feel like a cross between a policewoman and a serial nagger. How people cope with it day after day, I really don’t know, I am more of the ‘naughty auntie, teach them a few bad habits and hand them back’ breed.

Stopping a thirteen year old from spending all day looking at computers should be a career. In fact maybe it probably is; “Preventative Consultant in X Box addiction.” Any companies thinking of spending £000s on influencing and persuasion skills training, save yourself the investment and send your executives to spent a day with a sulky bored teenager.

I am ready to leave the garden of England tomorrow and return to the peaceful teenager free zone of my cottage in Oxfordshire. Bliss. Off to read my own ‘saying no comfortably’ article – give myself a taste of my own medicine! 

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103218836146.html

Any tips on handling teenagers, greatly appreciated. 

 

FEAR IS NORMAL!!

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If I could wave a magic wand, I would change one thing. It would be for people to say what they really feel, true, raw and honest. I am a Northerner stuck in a Southerner’s body and perhaps my work on developing ‘verbal padding’ has gone too far?! 

FEAR IS NORMAL!

If only people expressing fears meant they wouldn’t be judged but supported. Companies and people wouldn’t use the open expression of fears to manipulate, but self-awareness would increase and a healthy exchange and support ensue. Overwhelm and procrastination would be less as a result. The world would be a very different and better place. Politics wastes so much time and money, when if this same energy was directed at fruitful productivity and pulling together to get the world out of the mess we’ve got it in, we’d get there quicker. Fear increases people playing politics at work. 

I think the truth is that the world at the moment is quite scary. Uncertain jobs, pensions, an aging population and Alzheimer’s and a shed load of national and maybe individual debt to pay off over probably decades. It’s not exactly cheerful is it?

Women in my family live until 98 so that’s a lot of care home fees to work hard for, as I doubt the government will have money to fund for any but the most poor, by the time I am as wrinkled as a prune.  I remember after the credit crunch, walking through London thinking, why is everyone looking so happy, carrying on as normal? Don’t they realise it means years of poverty, misery and strikes? 

At least challenge creates emotional resilience and a refocus on what’s really important! I am going to sit in the sun today and revel in every moment, surrounded by flowers and butterflies. What are you going to do that you would normally put off for another day?  Do make a post sharing this – thanks!

A Good CV Is Like Juiced Oranges

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A good CV is like juicing oranges because you only want to have the best bits – the juice. The skins, pith and pips represent all the ‘stuff’ that you have done in your jobs, with often duplication. 

A CV needs to be focused and especially at the moment with so many people applying for jobs, so yours needs to work even harder than it would normally.

What’s the best and tastiest ‘juice’ from your career – achievements, best skills etc?

If you want to change career direction or have a few years on the clock, it is even more important to take the ‘juicing’ approach.  Don’t let your CV let you down, many people do.

Have you downloaded our FREE 30 page Energise report yet – ‘Pain free career change’? Click on this link: http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/

Ever Wake Up Like A Bear With A Sore Head?

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Waking up feeling grumpy isn’t the best start to the day, especially before you disappear into the bowels of public transport or the long commute. The good news is that you can manage your grumpy bear – as if by magic. Yes really.

We don’t get taught at school or college how to deal with difficult emotions, so they can fester and then we give them to someone else, a bit like throwing a cow pat – nice gift! It’s called projection and often we don’t realise we are doing this. So next time someone gives you a dressing down out of context, get curious not mad.

Try this tool to banish your grumpy bear:

Step 1: Name the negative feeling and acknowledge it e.g. sad

Step 2: Name how you’d like to feel e.g. buoyant

Step 3: Recall a memory when you had the positive feeling of buoyant

Step 4: Recall the good memory in 3D and superb technicolour with the best sound system there is and bingo, the grumpy bear has retreated back to his cave Have a good day and please me know how you find the tool – after the grumpy bear has gone back into his cave, naturally!

PS saying yes when we want to say no can cause big grumpy bears, so click on this link if you want to read more. Saying No: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103218836146.html

Post a comment about how the tool works for you – but only after your grumpy bear has retreated into his cave!

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Are You Hiding Away Your Talents?

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People are really good at hiding their talents away. We all have strengths and yet most people don’t know what their talents are, don’t have jobs that play to their strengths and don’t blow their own trumpet.

The result? They achieve less than they could do, do work that underplays their talents and have less fulfilment from their work. What are your best talents and how could you utilise your talents more in your career?

Are you doing your dream career and if not why not? If you’d like a FREE 30 page report “Pain free career change” – click on this link and download it now:

 http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/

And I Quote “….

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“The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.” Mozart

If you enjoyed this quote, why not opt in to get our free monthly bulletins which include one inspiring quote per bulletin. Click on the link below:

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We do 4 topics each month:  Human capital, Smart living and working, Self promotion, Career strategies

Why People Are Like Vegetables

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I am heading to my allotment to water it with no prospect of rain in sight,  and am pondering the thought that people are like vegetables. They need watering. Different people need to be watered in different ways as they have different values, needs and motivations. If only we came with an instruction manual, like a car or washing machine, it would be a lot easier. 

Put it other way, we all need ‘strokes’, but how often do we get them at work? Not enough. Some employees like to have a quiet ‘thank you’ as recognition and others want a cheering crowd and a big prize. For many employees, like the lack of rain, there’s no pay rise in sight and the prospect of a pension drought too, so watering is even more important, especially as less people are doing more work.

Watering your people is crucial for employee engagement and motivation, which directly impacts on business performance, productivity and profit. What watering are you going to do today?

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  • 4 topics each month: Human capital, Smart living and working, Self promotion, Career strategies 

Ever Encounter ‘Sod’s Law?’

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Do you ever encounter ‘sod’s law?’ You work really late to perfect a presentation and then it’s cancelled. You don’t take a great job at another company because you have your eye on your retiring boss’ position and then they give their job to someone else.  

Sod’s law is about things not going according to plan. But then who said there was a plan in the first place? 

Sod’s law is annoying but inevitable, the knocks that make the highs high. How can sod’s law be prevented? It probably can’t, but you can choose your attitude to it and be philosophical. If ever a prospect or client meeting is cancelled, rather than getting wound up, I feel glad of the unexpected spare time. What’s your biggest experience of ‘sod’s law’ and looking back, was it really such a sod?

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Human capital, Smart living and working , Self promotion, Career strategies

Have You Got A ‘Chip On The Shoulder?’

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It’s a weird expression isn’t it; ‘Chip on the shoulder’. I don’t know where the expression comes from and whether it’s a “a bit missing kind of chip” or a potato chip?!  My interpretation of what it means is that it’s a sensitivity or insecurity that creates an over-reaction as we are looking for evidence to back it up and ‘feed the monster’!

Chips that I have encountered include; feeling on the outside looking in and excluded; not building rapport; or feeling we are not intelligent enough or creative enough. So we over-notice what other people say and do to prove our perception and then overreact as the chip is activated.  Since there are an awful lot of people out there, that’s a lot of ‘chips’ and feeling vulnerable or dealing with uncertainty can magnify the overreaction. In a political or creative culture, there can be a lot of chips rattling around which inhibit full productivity and performance. Self awareness is key, but a lot of people are cynical about personal development, especially left strongly ‘left brainers;.

Chips on the shoulder` are worth looking at because they can stop people from doing what they really want and truly being happy and fulfilled. A good way is to explore the limiting beliefs that have created the chip – it’s a but like clearing out the loft and creating space for good new things to happen. What’s your chip and what does it stop you from doing that you would like to? What are the chips of people close to you?

Cheers

Rachel

Rachel Brushfield
Energise – The Talent Liberation Company

Tel: + 44 (0) 845 22 55 010
Mobile: + 44(0) 7973 911137 
E mail: rachel@liberateyourtalent.com
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Linked in profile: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/energiseliberateyourtalent
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  • Career strategies
  • Human capital
  • Smart living and working
  • Self promotion

How vulnerable is it wise to be at work?

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Showing vulnerability creates trust and builds relationships but it also creates risk and it can be abused in the wrong hands, so what is the right measure?

I was ‘very closed’ when I was younger and didn’t trust people easily, so gave little if nothing away about myself. Now I am much more open with people, so it has been a huge personal transformation. I am choosy about who I trust though, they need to earn their stripes!

Those I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours” re vulnerable moments and confiding secrets or fears is a great way of creating a bond with other people. Showing vulnerability shows that we are human and brings out other’s desire to protect and nurture, and helps them realise that they don’t have to be perfect and perform all the time.

It is natural to make mistakes but in business often people cover them up for fear of looking weak and being punished, especially in the current economic climate where headcount is being reviewed. 

What is the balance between showing enough vulnerability but not too much?  What are your thoughts? One of my passions is to get fear out in the open and talked about more.

Cheers

Rachel

Rachel Brushfield
Energise – The Talent Liberation Company

Tel: + 44 (0) 845 22 55 010
Mobile: + 44(0) 7973 911137 
E mail: rachel@liberateyourtalent.com
Web: www.liberateyourtalent.com
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/talentliberator

Linked in profile: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/energiseliberateyourtalent 

Bulletins: Are you receiving the Energise each monthly bulletins via e mail? Don’t miss out on free insights, tips and inspiring case studies. Click on this link to opt in.

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1102862873131&p=oi

  • Career strategies
  • Human capital
  • Smart living and working
  • Self promotion