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Want To Keep That Holiday Feeling?

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Where did August go?! Welcome to September – kids are back to school and you are back to work and my blog had a 2 week holiday too, so is refreshed with new words. How can you keep that holiday feeling?

My lovely cat Thelma has been staring at an ant on the kitchen floor for the last 15 minutes, absolutely enrapt in the moment. “So what” I hear you cry, what’s so interesting about THAT INANE DETAIL to blog about it, for goodness sake, don’t you know how BUSY I AM going through all my e mails?! 

Well, Thelma isn’t living in the past or worrying about the yet to be revealed future, which she can’t change, she’s just enjoying being in the moment. Being in the moment is where happiness happens. When I stop being busy and focus on the here and now, it is a simply wonderful place. Time slows down, I feel carefree and it’s rather blissful. It’s easy in principle and very hard in practice because we have so much to do and it’s very easy not to.

Ok, so how do you do it? Kids and animals are great at it, so copying them helps. Stopping and becoming more aware of what your senses are noticing helps, instead of being on rush autopilot command control. Want to read more? Eckhart Tolle “Practicing the power of now“  is a great book.

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Do You Indulge In Wishful Thinking?

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Do you indulge in wishful thinking? Do you stick your head in the sand and pretend that everything is going to magically get better? Whether it’s a dead end job, blocked progression at work, feeling stuck in a career you hate with financial responsibilities like a millstone around your neck or a relationship on the road to hell rather than heaven, it’s easy to pretend and avoid confronting it.

The trouble is that wishful thinking is just that – la la land or some might say delusional!  Luckily humans have fantastically imaginative minds and convince ourselves of all sorts of things which aren’t true. It’s easier to stay where we are and pretend, because people are creatures of habit, and then we don’t have to face up to the prospect of change and upheaval and we can stay where we are, in our cosy if boring padded cell comfort zones.

But hang on a minute, if our imaginations are so effective convincing ourselves that everything’s just fine, just think what we could create that’s better if we were to focus on what we want and take action? I had one coaching client who was going to resign she was so fed up, and the next time we met, she had negotiated flexi time working with her boss and was beaming like a Cheshire cat.  Good change can happen fast if you set your mind to it.

Some of my clients have been stuck for over ten years before they get in touch. That’s a long time to feel fed up and put your fulfilment on hold, isn’t it? One of my favourite exercises is getting clients to imagine going to the end of their lives and look back. Try it – what would you like to have achieved and what would you like people to be saying about you?

For some thoughts on career change, click on this link:

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103151195385.html

What Vices Do You Have?

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My goodness, we are creatures of habit, aren’t we?! Every morning I ritualistically line up 4 glasses of water on the worktop and chuckle to myself. I picture the creation of habits of like a lawn mower cutting grass. Neural path ways in the brain take time to create and it’s easy to keep on mowing the same route until the grass doesn’t grow so much and there’s a path that you go down, always going the same way. It takes conscious effort and persistence to change a habit. I moved the location of the bin in my kitchen and was intrigued to see that it does, as the experts say, take about 28 days to establish a new habit and break an old one. Had to get a new kitchen floor as well due to wear and tear.

What habit would you like to change? I used to smoke 40 cigarettes a day and I gave up about 7 years ago. Cigarettes were like punctuation in my day and there were lots of full stops, commas and dashes.  I’d tried everything; hypnosis, collecting old butts in jam jars and keeping them on my desk in water, buying smaller packets, patches. You name it, I tried it.  Do you know how I cracked it? It was three things; 1) I kept a diary of how I felt before, during and after a cigarette which gave me insights about the triggers, 2) I thought about how to deal with the triggers and ‘fill the gap’, e.g. playing a song which gave me a ‘feel good time out break’ without the smoke and 3) I realised that smoking was stopping me from getting what I want.

At that time, I especially wanted to be more creative, and sitting on the sofa one day, with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I observed myself, I was inhaling in the gap between my thoughts. This is the space where insights emerge and creativity happens. I was stopping myself from being more creative. The light came on  – an ‘aha moment’ as we call it in coaching.  Armed with this insight, which ironically having a fag break and time to think had given me, I stubbed out the cigarette and haven’t touched one since. Don’t worry you smokers out there, I haven’t become all evangelical and anti smoking, in fact I think that non-smokers would benefit from time out 5 minutes breaks too – time to think. But that topic is one for another blog.

Sometimes smoking is a displacement activity, in other words you are doing it to avoid looking at what really needs looking at, like changing your job or career. For the FREE 30 page “Pain free career change” report, click on this link:  

http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/

Have You Got Talent?

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Yesterday, my friend Angela said I should get rid of the ‘liberate your talent’ part of my Energise branding because it reminds people of ‘Has Britain got talent’ and the ‘X factor’. Talent is also the term used by companies for the key people they want to attract and keep, but the term has been hijacked by TV’s wannabes!   Having built up my brand over thirteen years, I don’t really want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and re-experience labour pains; one lot of stitches is quite enough thank you!

Employee ‘Talent’ or human capital is a contentious debate provoking topic because everyone has talent, but many people think they don’t or it’s immodest to think/say that they do, different companies define it in different ways and we are all biased because of our own perception. Complex! Some companies define all employees as talent and others specific ‘high performers’ or ‘business critical skills’ vital for success or skills ‘in short supply.’

In our belt tightening times, a narrower definition of talent makes sense for financial reasons, but isn’t exactly carroty to engage all employees grafting doing 2 people’s jobs. After all, isn’t a class system a little outdated in 2010, and for people to perceive they are ‘not good enough’ when they are more than likely in my experience to create that conclusion themselves? So a good question to ask perhaps – are you talent, if not how could you be, or where could you work where you feel that you are? Tip – emotional resilience and a positive attitude are two things that employers are looking for, so grit those teeth and smile!

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Caught That Tail of Yours Yet?

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August is a funny old month isn’t it? Not funny ha ha, funny peculiar, but a nice kind of peculiar. Commuting is a sprint instead of a marathon, and it’s a great opportunity instead of playing telephone tennis, to have a proper rally and meet up with people. Then just when you have had a minuscule chance to catch your breath, bingo there’s September, a rush hour in my year as people are ready to change career having reflected during their holidays.

I love August because it feels like a creative month, and I love creating things, but there’s always those things lurking at the bottom of the ‘to do’ list. And as someone who helps people to tackle such things as part of being a coach, that’s quite an admission!  Don’t tell anyone!

The “clear out the files on my computer” task has been languishing at the bottom of my ‘to do list’ for quite a while now, sunbathing in a sprinkling of new file rays. I am pretty focused, but I let myself off the hook – “that’s a task for dark winter days while recovering from legionnaire’s disease,” I justify to myself. Trouble is I have a vivid and visual imagination, and I picture my computer getting so full, it explodes very messily, bytes and megabytes like rain dust, contributing to global warming. As for the Internet reaching capacity, well I think I’ll keep a lid on that thought for now. 

If you have some time to think and reflect this August, you might fancy a personal springclean, in which case click on the link below for some free tips.

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103381622768.html

Relationships Are Like Runner Beans

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If I forget or don’t make time to visit my allotment for a couple of days, the runner beans get too big and aren’t very nice, so they are wasted. If I visit more often and pick them, I am rewarded by delicious beans without strings attached. Not only that, but the more I pick, the more beans grow, so giving them a little attention means they are more productive.

People are like runner beans. They will reward you back if you give them time and attention. I think human beings have a fundamental need to be heard and thought about, but the ‘to do list’ can get in the way, especially with our mad busy lives.  Whether it’s employees, friends or family, we all need watering and tending.

Sometimes I put off phoning people because it feels like too much time with everything else I need to do. Every time I do phone, it feels good, I get an idea, give support and feel connected. If I don’t, I feel out of sorts,  disconnected and withdraw – a vicious rather than virtuous circle. Which ‘runner beans’ are you going to nurture today? If this post resonated wih you, you might enjoy our tweets on Twitter. Click on the link below and follow us on Twitter:

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What Floats Your Boat?

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Success and what it means is such an individual thing isn’t it, but it doesn’t always feel like that. I find that a lot of people are living lives and doing jobs that actually don’t give them what they want. Our society is hugely money and status driven, but research shows that after a certain point, it doesn’t affect happiness. We can feel pressure to work harder and push for promotion and get a better house or car, when actually what we want is to have more time.  

Many people do ‘shoulds, oughts and musts’ when actually doing what they want would float their boat a lot more. In coaching we call it living life by your values – i.e. what’s important to you. Freedom, space, choice and honesty are some of things important to me, so guess what, I am self-employed!   I have seen huge growth in people seeking more meaning and purpose, and it will be interesting to see what happens as the downturn lifts.

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Are You Sleeping On The Job?

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Apparently 3 out of 4 workers get less than the recommended eight hours of sleep a night, with worries about job security being a factor (Source Travelodge research). If I was an inventor, I would invent an off button or dimmer switch for the brain. 

Civil servants get just under 6 hours a night, which is less than bankers and factory workers came in third. As someone who spent a couple of days as part of my university placement working on a production line injecting gelatine into pork pies, I can say that I used to snooze on the job hypnotised, as the work was quite repetitive.  I’d imagine that farmers were too busy to fill in the questionnaire as they were harvesting and creatives didn’t sleep at all as they were too busy working on a pitch. 

In Buenos Aires, there is a dedicated sleep centre offering clients a choice of soothing colours, aromas and music and they claim that a siesta helps beat work related stress. As someone who naturally wakes at 5 and has been having an afternoon snooze since I was about 15, I agree with them!  Open plan office, no thanks!

Tip – before you go to sleep, think of an open incisive question to help your unconscious mind solve a challenge you have been grappling with.

For some tips on emotional resilience, click on this link:

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103319741569.html

Do you have any ‘sleeping on the job’ stories to share. Go on….!

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Have You Got A Screw Loose?

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I found one loose screw at the weekend, not just a small one either, it was huge. I had friends staying, the sofa bed was in use, and there it was on the carpet the next morning winking at me. Is this a sign, do I have a screw loose? Or was it presenting itself as a gift so I need to put it back somewhere, otherwise a piece of furniture will dramatically collapse in a heap unexpectedly? But if this is the case, how do I know where the screw’s home is? Maybe it’s from a flat-pack and they put one spare screw or nail in just to keep you on your toes, so you finish the job properly?

How do I know when a sign is a sign or when it’s just a coincidence? I wish I didn’t think so much and was a village idiot, life would be so much simpler. Am I being too analytical? OMG! Personal development and self-awareness is like Pandora’s box and that Pandora has got alot to answer for! 

My handyman has made a career out of preventing loose screws. He left the inside of corporate life for the inside of IKEA. He specialises in creating furniture from flat packs and achieves in minutes what would take me hours, and quite possibly years. I bet he never has any loose screws, and if he does, he puts them in his took-kit and puts them to good use. What natural talents do you have that you could put to good use and make a career out of?

For some thoughts on the changing world of work, click on this link:       

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1102946487623.html

Spider Stops House Move

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A spider has been stopping my sister from moving house. Actually that’s not true. Spiders.  The shed at the bottom of her garden is looking a bit of a mess, so I asked her why she hadn’t cleared it out. She replied that her car’s not big enough to fit the things in and she needed to get someone with a big car to help her. Well I’ll help you, I replied. No! she retorted The real block turned out to be the prospect of her facing the spiders. I had many a fun time chasing her as a child with a spider encased in my hand, to the backdrop of her screams. 

Why am I telling you this story? It’s because the things that stop us from doing what we want or need to are not always obvious, they can be hidden. That’s one of the reasons why procrastination happens. Blocks can be conscious or unconscious and the bigger the task or change e.g. career change, the more the blocks can get in the way and so we keep on stopping ourselves and then get frustrated when we don’t make progress.

I had a block about becoming successful because I thought I’d become busy and get stressed, which I didn’t want to be. We can keep at bay things we want without realising WE are the root cause! What do you want to change and how are you stopping yourself? 

Often people are afraid of career change. Click on this link to download the FREE Energise report “Pain free career change” http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/