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Managing emotions

Feeling Stuck?

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I was scanning the best sellers list in a book shop over Easter and noticed 2 books in the top 15 about being stuck and what to do about it. The phrase feeling stuck appears 36 million times in Google search.

Feeling stuck is not something people talk about, is it? Especially the government or CEO of a company. It is a fascinating topic affecting many areas, relationships, career, projects etc.

Often feeling stuck is caused by something we are not even aware of, e.g. resistance caused by a fear so it is hard to put your finger on it and do something about it. Try saying that to your boss when you are procrastinating.

With so much uncertainty about, one of the worst things to do when feeling stuck is stick your head in the sand and hope it will go away. Occasionally around the corner, there is a magic solution and it is best to take no action, but this is rare.

Here are 3 tips to help you become unstuck:

  1. Have a ‘stuckness audit’ with yourself, for a project or your company to identify the ‘don’t knows’
  2. Identify the consequence of staying stuck and taking no action and the benefit of taking action
  3. Check in with yourself regularly and make time to ask yourself a self-reflective question e.g. What’s the resistance about?

For a full article about becoming unstuck, e mail rachel@liberateyourtalent.com

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What’s Your Favourite Noise?

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Unusual question I know. Church bells? Your favourite pop star? The sound of your partner’s voice? The engine revving of the latest top sport car? A champagne cork popping?  An ex boyfriend of mine sounded like a silky radio voice-over and I played his messages so many times, the tape on the answer machine wore out!

What’s your least favourite noise? The mother-in-law on the phone? Your partner’s voice during an argument? The beep a mobile phone makes when someone presses the keys to create a text? My cat hates my sneezes with a passion. I didn’t realise they sounded like Hurricane Henrietta, but they have her running for the hills. The doorbell has the same effect and I only have to open the cupboard where I keep the monster hoover or touch the cap of a can of wood spray, and all I see is a glimpse of her rear end in a puff of smoke. It is worth being aware of what noises trigger good feelings and what cause bad, so you can manage them, e.g. that ping sound when an e mail arrives can distract you from concentrating and you can choose to change the settings and switch it off.

One person’s least favourite noise can be another person’s favourite, for example, if you work in a call centre all day, the last thing you want is the phone ringing when you go home. But if you are self-employed and work from home, then the phone ringing is welcome. Different people have a different dominant sense; visual, auditory (sound) and kinaesthetic (touch and feeling). You can often work out which one they are by the words they use and what type of work they do. Be curious today.

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Do You Have ‘Inner Rants’?

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I caught myself having an inner rant yesterday. Do you ever have those? You know those times where you are having an indignant conversation with yourself about something that has frustrated you? Think driving, traffic jams and road rage. You are with me! I had got a text from a friend implying that she wasn’t around to meet up that evening after 6 when we had arranged to.

My rant was on the lines of ‘charming, so much for reliability, people not doing what they say they are going to do – whatever happened to integrity, bla bla bla.’  And then there was a counter rant. ‘Yes but remember to accept what is, you believe in that, things happen for a reason, rather than wrestling with it and creating unnecessary angst and stress.’ Then logic kicked in – ‘seek to understand before being understood’ (Stephen Covey, 7 habits of highly effective people), i.e. clarify; there is bound to be a good reason. She might have a medical emergency, one of her dogs/horses might be ill, the car has  a flat tyre etc

So how do you manage inner rants? The first step is to notice them and catch yourself having circular or repetitive thoughts that are negative or unconstructive and choose to nip them in the bud. Creative approaches help. The other week I noticed negative circular thoughts occupying my mind. I decided to inwardly sing the Goons song ‘Ying Tong’ every time the thought appeared. Not only did I start laughing which shifted my mood, the song got shorter and shorter until it was ‘Ying’ and then finally ‘Y..’. Magic!

By the way my friend and I did meet up and we had a great night!

If you have regular inner rants about your job, boss or vocation, maybe it is time for a change? For more information about “Pain free career change” download our free 30 page report “Pain free career change.”  http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/