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managing emotions

Examined Your Navel Recently?

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I took myself on an away day this week. It was horrible. I sat in the sun in 21 degrees in a beautiful garden in the Cotswolds thinking and reflecting. The fluff is pink and green since you asked. We often don’t make time for reflection and contemplation, when it is one of those ‘important but not urgent’ tasks that make all the difference to success and happiness. 

The catalyst for my reflection was a new business year. The last 12 months has been so full-on, I felt like my head was spinning off my neck at times. I had an enjoyable and productive day and did about 3 days work in 1. Next is an away day to think about all the non-work areas, but I am leaving that until the school holidays are over as one of my values is peace. Shhh!  

What do you need or want to reflect about that would make all the difference to you? How to improve a relationship; how to murder your boss painlessly and without being caught; how to achieve more in less time; how to change career in a time of uncertainty? 

Our bulletins might be useful for your reflection. Click on this link to read historical ones on Smart living and working; Career strategies and Self-promotion topics:   

http://www.liberateyourtalent.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=79&Itemid=106

Here is one example on How to manage difficult emotion: 

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1104576359789.html

If you want to opt in to receive our free monthly bulletins, click on this link:

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1102862873131&p=oi

What Rubbish Do You Utter?

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Life is full of ridiculous sweeping statements. An apt expression since a lot of them are rubbish.  ‘All bankers are greedy.’ ‘Creatives are temperamental.’ ‘A lot of comedians are manic depressives’.  

I went to a networking event last night with lawyers. I heard someone describe lawyers as ‘dysfunctional’. Such crazy generalisations enrage me. What is ‘normal’? Is there such a thing? We all get given labels; I was the ‘analytical’ one in my family. We get given nicknames. We have job titles, which create a hierarchy and yet a division. I hate being put in a box – it feels like prison. My job title, if you want to call it that, is self-created; ‘talent liberator’ because it best expresses what I bring not what I do. What do labels give us do you think? What purpose do they serve?

Be aware of what labels you put on things and what basis you are using in gossip or discussion. The news feeds people rubbish and many take it as gospel. Everything carries an energy; a word, a thought so notice what you and others express, the basis of your views and the implications. e.g. ‘troublesome youth’ ‘the lost generation’ or about immigrants – are they helpful? I don’t think so. What’s your view?     

Why is a good CV like squeezing oranges? Do you have the imposter syndrome? For the answers to these questions and more, click on this link:

http://www.liberateyourtalent.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=79&Itemid=106

What Gets Your Goat?

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I caught myself being a very grumpy arse this morning. Steam was coming out of my ears faster than a train and Puff the magic dragon for anyone old enough to remember got a run for his money. The cause? Poor communication.

Communication isn’t rocket science. You don’t need a PHD to know that people like to understand what is going on, be kept informed and not caught on the hop with things taken away that they are used to having. My London office base has an event today, so the usual facilities including desktop computers are not available and members feel like battery hens squeezed into a cupboard.

Whenever people get mad, usually their values i.e. what is important to them are being trodden on. In this case thoughtfulness, peace, space, manners and communication to name a few have been stamped upon. Not only do values help us design our lives and work for more fulfilment, they also act as a check for managing difficult emotions.

Are you good at saying how you feel, in conflict situations to resolve things? Read this bulletin to find out.

 http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1104576359789.html

Do You Have ‘Inner Rants’?

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I caught myself having an inner rant yesterday. Do you ever have those? You know those times where you are having an indignant conversation with yourself about something that has frustrated you? Think driving, traffic jams and road rage. You are with me! I had got a text from a friend implying that she wasn’t around to meet up that evening after 6 when we had arranged to.

My rant was on the lines of ‘charming, so much for reliability, people not doing what they say they are going to do – whatever happened to integrity, bla bla bla.’  And then there was a counter rant. ‘Yes but remember to accept what is, you believe in that, things happen for a reason, rather than wrestling with it and creating unnecessary angst and stress.’ Then logic kicked in – ‘seek to understand before being understood’ (Stephen Covey, 7 habits of highly effective people), i.e. clarify; there is bound to be a good reason. She might have a medical emergency, one of her dogs/horses might be ill, the car has  a flat tyre etc

So how do you manage inner rants? The first step is to notice them and catch yourself having circular or repetitive thoughts that are negative or unconstructive and choose to nip them in the bud. Creative approaches help. The other week I noticed negative circular thoughts occupying my mind. I decided to inwardly sing the Goons song ‘Ying Tong’ every time the thought appeared. Not only did I start laughing which shifted my mood, the song got shorter and shorter until it was ‘Ying’ and then finally ‘Y..’. Magic!

By the way my friend and I did meet up and we had a great night!

If you have regular inner rants about your job, boss or vocation, maybe it is time for a change? For more information about “Pain free career change” download our free 30 page report “Pain free career change.”  http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/

Ever Wake Up Like A Bear With A Sore Head?

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Waking up feeling grumpy isn’t the best start to the day, especially before you disappear into the bowels of public transport or the long commute. The good news is that you can manage your grumpy bear – as if by magic. Yes really.

We don’t get taught at school or college how to deal with difficult emotions, so they can fester and then we give them to someone else, a bit like throwing a cow pat – nice gift! It’s called projection and often we don’t realise we are doing this. So next time someone gives you a dressing down out of context, get curious not mad.

Try this tool to banish your grumpy bear:

Step 1: Name the negative feeling and acknowledge it e.g. sad

Step 2: Name how you’d like to feel e.g. buoyant

Step 3: Recall a memory when you had the positive feeling of buoyant

Step 4: Recall the good memory in 3D and superb technicolour with the best sound system there is and bingo, the grumpy bear has retreated back to his cave Have a good day and please me know how you find the tool – after the grumpy bear has gone back into his cave, naturally!

PS saying yes when we want to say no can cause big grumpy bears, so click on this link if you want to read more. Saying No: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103218836146.html

Post a comment about how the tool works for you – but only after your grumpy bear has retreated into his cave!

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