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Emotonal intelligence

What Gets Your Goat?

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I caught myself being a very grumpy arse this morning. Steam was coming out of my ears faster than a train and Puff the magic dragon for anyone old enough to remember got a run for his money. The cause? Poor communication.

Communication isn’t rocket science. You don’t need a PHD to know that people like to understand what is going on, be kept informed and not caught on the hop with things taken away that they are used to having. My London office base has an event today, so the usual facilities including desktop computers are not available and members feel like battery hens squeezed into a cupboard.

Whenever people get mad, usually their values i.e. what is important to them are being trodden on. In this case thoughtfulness, peace, space, manners and communication to name a few have been stamped upon. Not only do values help us design our lives and work for more fulfilment, they also act as a check for managing difficult emotions.

Are you good at saying how you feel, in conflict situations to resolve things? Read this bulletin to find out.

 http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1104576359789.html

Ever Wake Up Like A Bear With A Sore Head?

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Waking up feeling grumpy isn’t the best start to the day, especially before you disappear into the bowels of public transport or the long commute. The good news is that you can manage your grumpy bear – as if by magic. Yes really.

We don’t get taught at school or college how to deal with difficult emotions, so they can fester and then we give them to someone else, a bit like throwing a cow pat – nice gift! It’s called projection and often we don’t realise we are doing this. So next time someone gives you a dressing down out of context, get curious not mad.

Try this tool to banish your grumpy bear:

Step 1: Name the negative feeling and acknowledge it e.g. sad

Step 2: Name how you’d like to feel e.g. buoyant

Step 3: Recall a memory when you had the positive feeling of buoyant

Step 4: Recall the good memory in 3D and superb technicolour with the best sound system there is and bingo, the grumpy bear has retreated back to his cave Have a good day and please me know how you find the tool – after the grumpy bear has gone back into his cave, naturally!

PS saying yes when we want to say no can cause big grumpy bears, so click on this link if you want to read more. Saying No: http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103218836146.html

Post a comment about how the tool works for you – but only after your grumpy bear has retreated into his cave!

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