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Change and uncertainty

Inner Tug Of War?

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Do you ever find that an inner part of you just won’t budge? It’s like it’s dug its heels in and refuses to do what it is ‘supposed to do’ or you want it to, however much you cajole or reason with it. Procrastination is often the consequence of resistance, but the root cause is not always clear at first and then it rises to the surface and it all makes sense. 

Yesterday I had a client who was showing resistance to taking action for most of the coaching session; their verbal energy was high and strong and then the reason for the resistance popped out five minutes before the end of the session.  The task she was supposed to do just didn’t sit comfortably with who she was – it was a provocative action when they are conservative by nature. They knew they needed to do something, it just wasn’t that. Once we had got to the bottom of what was going on – and a bit of my job is like being a detective and putting the pieces together, they worked out what was comfortable and moved quickly and enthusiastically into action, A good question to ask yourself if you find yourself in this situation is: “What’s the resistance about?”

Once I come up with a creative way for you to explain inaction at work caused by resistance to your boss, I’ll let you know! Are you resisting the change you know you need to make? This is common and I have seen resistance to change over time cause illness, depression and even fatigue syndrome, so it’s best tackled.

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Do You Indulge In Wishful Thinking?

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Do you indulge in wishful thinking? Do you stick your head in the sand and pretend that everything is going to magically get better? Whether it’s a dead end job, blocked progression at work, feeling stuck in a career you hate with financial responsibilities like a millstone around your neck or a relationship on the road to hell rather than heaven, it’s easy to pretend and avoid confronting it.

The trouble is that wishful thinking is just that – la la land or some might say delusional!  Luckily humans have fantastically imaginative minds and convince ourselves of all sorts of things which aren’t true. It’s easier to stay where we are and pretend, because people are creatures of habit, and then we don’t have to face up to the prospect of change and upheaval and we can stay where we are, in our cosy if boring padded cell comfort zones.

But hang on a minute, if our imaginations are so effective convincing ourselves that everything’s just fine, just think what we could create that’s better if we were to focus on what we want and take action? I had one coaching client who was going to resign she was so fed up, and the next time we met, she had negotiated flexi time working with her boss and was beaming like a Cheshire cat.  Good change can happen fast if you set your mind to it.

Some of my clients have been stuck for over ten years before they get in touch. That’s a long time to feel fed up and put your fulfilment on hold, isn’t it? One of my favourite exercises is getting clients to imagine going to the end of their lives and look back. Try it – what would you like to have achieved and what would you like people to be saying about you?

For some thoughts on career change, click on this link:

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1103151195385.html