From Energise - The Talent Liberation Company

You are here: Home / Archives for self confidence

self confidence

How to improve your self-esteem in 2021– 12 powerful tips – Part 2 of 2

By //  by 

This is a 2-part blog by Peter Wilford. This is Part 2.

Read Part 1. https://www.inspiringportfoliocareers.com/how-to-improve-your-self-esteem-in-2021-12-powerful-tips-part-1-of-2/

TIP 5.

Do the right thing.

When you do what you “deep down” believe is the right thing to do, then you will start to raise and strengthen your level of self-esteem.

It might just be a small thing like getting up from the sofa and going to the gym. It could also be to become more understanding instead of judgmental in a situation. It might also be to stop feeling sorry for yourself and focus on the opportunities and be appreciative for what you actually have in life.  Take some time to think about what the “right thing” is for you.

TIP 6.

Replace the perfectionism.

Few thought habits can be so destructive in our daily life as “perfectionism”.

It can paralyse you from taking action because you become so afraid of not living up to some required standard. As a result you procrastinate and you do not get the results you want. This will invariably make your self-esteem fall.

TIP 7.

Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.

If you go outside your comfort zone, and if you try to accomplish something that is truly meaningful then you may often stumble and fall along the way.

That is OK and quite normal. It is just what people who did something that truly mattered have done throughout all the ages. Even if we don’t always hear about it as much as we hear about their successes.

TIP 8.

Be kinder to other people.

When you show kindness to others you start to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way as well. And the way you treat other people is how they will tend to treat you in the long term.

Start to focus on being kind more often in your daily life.

TIP 9.

Try something new.

When you try something new, when you challenge yourself either in a small or large way and go outside your comfort zone, then your opinion of yourself will start to go up.

You may not have done something you planned to do in a spectacular or significant way, but you at least tried instead of sitting on your hands and doing nothing. That is something to start to appreciate about yourself and you will find that it can help you come alive as you get out of a rut.

Go outside your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything quickly, just tell yourself that you will try something out for the first time.

TIP 10.

Stop falling into the comparison trap.

When you compare your life, yourself and what you have in relation to other people’s lives and what they have, then you are on the way to having a destructive habit on your hands.

Because you can never win.

There is always someone who has more or is better than you at something in the world. There are always people ahead of you.

So replace that habit with something better.

TIP 11.

Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people).

Even if you focus on being kinder towards other people (and yourself) and on replacing a ‘perfectionism’ habit, it will be hard to keep your self-esteem level up if the most important influences in your life drag it down on a daily or weekly basis.

So make changes where you can. Choose to spend less time with people who are nervous perfectionists, unkind or unsupportive of your dreams or goals. And spend more time with positive, uplifting people who have more human and kinder standards and ways of thinking about things.

TIP 12.

Remember the reasons you have behind raising your self-esteem levels.

What is a simple way in which you can stay consistent when you are doing something or working towards a goal? As mentioned above stop and reflect so that you can remember the most important reasons why you are doing it.

Remind yourself of these reasons regularly and this will help you stay motivated to work on your self-esteem and to make it an essential priority every day. Doing this simple thing and keeping these powerful reasons in mind has done wonders for some of our clients. I hope it can do the same for you.

 If you would like more information on this, please contact us: https://www.inspiringportfoliocareers.com/contact-us/

How to improve your self-esteem in 2021 – 12 powerful tips – Part 1 of 2

By //  by 

This is a 2-part blog by Peter Wilford. This is Part 1.

As we start a new year, I have reflected on some of the clients we have worked with recently who have low self-esteem which has, typically, come from any one of the following reasons:

  • Recent job loss
  • Redundancy and the way it was managed by the organisation
  • Lack of progress and slow results when looking for a new job
  • Low confidence and self-belief due to a disability, an ongoing mental illness or a specific personal situation (a client who suffers from ADHD)
  • Feeling of low self-worth

This has clearly impacted on their career as well as their personal life.

Having a high opinion about yourself, who you are and what you do and, basically, a love for yourself is often one of the things that people miss or have too little of in today’s society.

TIP 1. 

Start to say “stop” to your ‘inner critic’.

A good starting point to help increase your self-esteem is to learn how to handle and to replace the voice of your own ‘inner critic’.  We all have an inner critic.  How well are you managing yours?

It does two things. It can spur you on to get things done or to achieve things more and to gain acceptance from the main people who are in your life. But at the same time it can drag your self-esteem down. What would you prefer to use it for?

TIP 2.

Put into action healthier motivation habits.

To make your inner critic less useful, that ‘internal voice’ weaker, and at the same time motivate yourself to take action and with it raise your self-esteem, it certainly helps to have and regularly use healthy motivation habits.  Start to think about what motivation habit will work for you and introduce it into your life and daily routine.

TIP 3.

Take a 2 minute self-appreciation break.

This is a very simple and easy to gain habit.  If you spend just two minutes working on it every day for a month you will find that it can make a real difference. Take a deep breath, slow down and ask yourself this question: what are 3 things I like and most appreciate and value about myself?

TIP 4.

Write down the 3 things that you like and can most appreciate about yourself.

Do this again in the evening. Combining the two of them can be really powerful to help you gain two self-esteem boosts every day.

Contact us for your free 20 minute consultation to explore how we can help you: https://www.inspiringportfoliocareers.com/contact-us/

Does Coaching Work? A Client’s Story.

By //  by 

Hello, how are you?

I am aware that many people are cynical about marketing. I am a marketer by background so I know! This has been magnified with a lack of trust about business and a cautiousness in spending.  I am sure you get bored of my blogs so I thought it would be great to invite a client to ‘guest blog.’ 

My clients inspire me so much and I get such a buzz out of what they achieve. Here is the account of a client I worked with recently, Hannen Beith.  My clients  can explain what I do better than I ever could.

HANNEN’S STORY (male, age 59)

I was flattered when Rachel invited me to write a guest blog. I feel I owe her so much, it was the least I could do.

So here is my story. In March 2011 I was made redundant. I had worked in the legal sector since 1974. It was not a profession I chose, it was ‘chosen’ for me – my father in law. I had enjoyed many roles, including solicitor, partner, Deputy District Judge, adjudicator, and casework adviser with the Law Society.

Overall, however, I looked forward to, and relished the prospect of redundancy. It would give me a chance to strike out in a new direction away from the Law which I had found constricting. Of course, there were occasions when practising law was rewarding. They were mainly when I was interacting with people and helping them to achieve their aspirations. I often felt, especially when practising Family Law, that I was more of a counsellor than a lawyer. I hated having to regard my clients as “walking wallets”.  On the other hand, I was business aware, having had my own sole practice, and working hard and marketing even harder to support a wife and three children, and to pay the mortgage.

So I was aware that, whilst my world of work was not satisfying, work was necessary, and I often felt that it could be enjoyable. I could not see how partners and managers were unable to recognize that a happy working environment brought the best out of people, and if you bring the best out of your employees then it follows that you are going to retain them, motivate them, and increase your £ turnover.

Redundancy seemed to me to be an opportunity to strike out in a new direction and to find a job or career that would better suit my personality and aspirations.

However, having completed several application forms, and made it to final interviews I faced disappointment after disappointment when I was told that, although I had the experience that the company required, I did not have e.g. the “key competencies”.

It dawned on me that I could spend the next few years applying for jobs and get nowhere. I did not know what to do, but I knew that carrying on applying for posts that I thought might satisfy me could go on for years.

It was at this point that I think the Universe intervened. Like many of my colleagues, who had been made redundant at the same time, I had joined “LinkedIn”, the professionals’ “Facebook”.  Following one of the discussion threads one day I came across Rachel. There was something in the comment she made that intrigued me. I started to wonder whether I would be better off ploughing my own furrow and using my skills in a field that would satisfy me personally and professionally.

I emailed Rachel and we had a informal discussion, face to face. Fortunately she lives not too far away from me. I was immediately struck by her engaging manner, her personality, her directness and honesty. She did not try to engage me with empty promises, but set out what she thought she could do for me and left it up to me to decide whether I would like to go ahead. As a seasoned decision maker I had no doubts, and asked her there and then, if she would be my coach.

The weeks that followed, after we had agreed to do business together, were incredible. I can say frankly and sincerely that this period has been one of the most thrilling experiences of my personal and professional life.

Rachel began by bolstering my self-esteem, which I now realize had dropped to a dangerously low level. She reassured me that I had transferable skills, and if I chose to, could make a career based on those skills, using them to gain an income and more job satisfaction than I could ever have hoped for.

Rachel helped me to see how I was not nurturing myself, something that would be vital if I was to run my own business when I would be my own advert. I must emphasise that Rachel is completely non-judgemental. She never says you “should” do this or that. She probes and analyses, speaks to you as an equal, and leaves it up to you to make the changes which you know you need to make in order to live a more fulfilling life.

Rachel gave me many exercises to work on in between our weekly sessions. I was able, with her help, to identify specific skills that I could offer to companies and people. I became aware of my limiting beliefs, and Rachel gave me the tools to free me from them, tools which I still use now, even though I have progressed so far in such a short space of time.

Rachel also showed me how I could identify my values and be true to them. This exercise alone was amazingly liberating. After all, it was what had been holding me back, in terms of job satisfaction, and personal relationships, for decades.

Rachel also gave me a huge toolkit to play with and I relished that. I used to be so pessimistic, but now I am optimistic. For example, I used to be plagued by negative thoughts and beliefs. Rachel taught me techniques to deal with that. I found that I was able to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones very quickly, sometimes within a few seconds. It is a technique that I use now several times a day, although I have to say that as I have moved on, with Rachel’s help, I have fewer and fewer negative thoughts. The important thing is that I have lost so many fears. Fears about personal relationships, fears about money, fears about future security, fears about growing old.

The coaching is over now, but I am still in touch with Rachel. She gives out so much positive energy that I think that any client of hers would want to keep in touch. That does not mean that I feel dependent on her. On the contrary, I am confident that she has given me the skills to be my own coach. But you cannot come into contact with Rachel and fail to like her as a person, and respect her as a coach.

When I first approached Rachel I was not aware of how low I had sunk psychologically. I only had two concerns. Could she make me aware of the modern job market and its opportunities? Could she help me to acquire the skills to succeed in setting up my own business in such a market? Rachel has delivered on both.

To get down to the nitty-gritty, I have learned so much from her about branding, marketing, networking, being specific and applying the “S M A R T” approach to life and work.

I have only just finished working with Rachel – we worked together for 12 hours in total over 6 weeks – and I already have two potential assignments. If you had said that to me when I first met her I would not have believed it was possible.

To be even more specific let’s look at “networking”. Rachel impressed upon me how important it was. My reaction was “well I don’t know anyone worth networking with”. However, whilst when I first met Rachel my diary was blank, having used the skills she taught me I am now in a position, just a few weeks later, where I see or telephone a colleague or friend every day. I find it incredible that I’m now in the position where I have to say to members of my network that I cannot see them or telephone them for two weeks, because I am so busy!

Contrasting how I was before I met Rachel and how I am now, I feel like a totally different person.  My friends and family recognize this in my attitude and even in the tone of voice I have when I speak to them over the telephone.

Rachel has also taught me how to cope with and use social media. Something she is very adept at. My world now feels full of endless possibilities.

So the last few weeks have been, to use a metaphor, like pushing a boulder. Hard at first, but as it gathers momentum easier and easier, until you are chasing it down the hill!

I think to myself this is the life I have always wanted. I am happy. My odyssey is not at an end, but I feel that, from sailing in stormy seas, I am now in calm waters and the sun shines on me every day. I cannot wait to gather more assignments and provide businesses with optimism and hope, knowing that those qualities in themselves can be called vacuous, but as awareness is raised, the link between the qualities and increased profitability and stability becomes apparent. What I want to do is to help people flourish and that in turn will nourish and nurture their businesses, because at the end of the day, businesses are made up of people.

Hannen Beith B. A (Hons.) Humanities, Solicitor, Deputy District Judge (Retired),  MCIPD

Director, The Resurgence Consultancy

Hope you enjoyed Hannen’s story. If you are at a career crossroads or know someone who is, get in touch – click on this link: http://careerstrategies.co.uk/careercoaching/what-next/

ENERGISE WEB SITES

Career coaching

http://careerstrategies.co.uk/careercoaching/

Career revitalisation programme

http://www.careerstrategies.co.uk/ecourse/

FREE report – Skills

http://careerstrategies.co.uk/changingcareersreport/

Thanks for making the time to read Hannen’s story – hope it inspired you that career change is possible.

For more inspiring career change client examples, click on this link:

 http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs042/1102862873131/archive/1106786138562.html

Why People Are Like Vegetables

By //  by 

I am heading to my allotment to water it with no prospect of rain in sight,  and am pondering the thought that people are like vegetables. They need watering. Different people need to be watered in different ways as they have different values, needs and motivations. If only we came with an instruction manual, like a car or washing machine, it would be a lot easier. 

Put it other way, we all need ‘strokes’, but how often do we get them at work? Not enough. Some employees like to have a quiet ‘thank you’ as recognition and others want a cheering crowd and a big prize. For many employees, like the lack of rain, there’s no pay rise in sight and the prospect of a pension drought too, so watering is even more important, especially as less people are doing more work.

Watering your people is crucial for employee engagement and motivation, which directly impacts on business performance, productivity and profit. What watering are you going to do today?

Are you receiving the Energise monthly bulletins via e mail? Don’t miss out on free insights, tips and inspiring case studies. Click on this link to opt in.

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1102862873131&p=oi

  • 4 topics each month: Human capital, Smart living and working, Self promotion, Career strategies 

Have You Got A ‘Chip On The Shoulder?’

By //  by 

It’s a weird expression isn’t it; ‘Chip on the shoulder’. I don’t know where the expression comes from and whether it’s a “a bit missing kind of chip” or a potato chip?!  My interpretation of what it means is that it’s a sensitivity or insecurity that creates an over-reaction as we are looking for evidence to back it up and ‘feed the monster’!

Chips that I have encountered include; feeling on the outside looking in and excluded; not building rapport; or feeling we are not intelligent enough or creative enough. So we over-notice what other people say and do to prove our perception and then overreact as the chip is activated.  Since there are an awful lot of people out there, that’s a lot of ‘chips’ and feeling vulnerable or dealing with uncertainty can magnify the overreaction. In a political or creative culture, there can be a lot of chips rattling around which inhibit full productivity and performance. Self awareness is key, but a lot of people are cynical about personal development, especially left strongly ‘left brainers;.

Chips on the shoulder` are worth looking at because they can stop people from doing what they really want and truly being happy and fulfilled. A good way is to explore the limiting beliefs that have created the chip – it’s a but like clearing out the loft and creating space for good new things to happen. What’s your chip and what does it stop you from doing that you would like to? What are the chips of people close to you?

Cheers

Rachel

Rachel Brushfield
Energise – The Talent Liberation Company

Tel: + 44 (0) 845 22 55 010
Mobile: + 44(0) 7973 911137 
E mail: rachel@liberateyourtalent.com
Web: www.liberateyourtalent.com
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/talentliberator

Linked in profile: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/energiseliberateyourtalent
Blog: http://liberateyourtalent.wordpress.com

Bulletins: Are you receiving the Energise each monthly bulletins via e mail? Don’t miss out on free insights, tips and inspiring case studies. Click on this link to opt in.

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1102862873131&p=oi

  • Career strategies
  • Human capital
  • Smart living and working
  • Self promotion

Variety is the spice of life

By //  by 

Metro newspaper today in London featured research showing that over half of women are bored. Bored with too much housework and their work being the same.

I refuse to iron – it’s against my principles and love linen as I can get away with it! Variety is one of my values and I feel ‘out of sorts’ if I don’t have enough variety, both socially and in my work. All my clients are different – the themes are similar e.g. fears about change, lack of confidence, challenging relationships, lack of time, and I learn so much from my clients. Often it’s like a mirror – they reflect the issues that I am facing!

What is an important value for you?

Knowing your values helps you to make more conscious choices about decisions and what you say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to. They also help to make sense of difficult emotions, because when our values aren’t honoured, we feel frustrated, sad etc. But that’s a topic for another day!